i'm determined.

all my life i've always loved this.




i never doubted my potiential, until now.
why all of a sudden, am i scared to prove im good enough? why am i so unconfident?
i'm being intimidated by these new faces.

i want this, i will work for it.
although im so scared, i'm determined.

not this time.

the first time around, you hit me so hard i can't even explain. no reason, outta no where, i didn't see it coming. i shouldn't have cared, but i cared so much, it hurt. i would cry every night from the pain you caused. i was finally beginning to get up from the ground, & again you're gna try to knock me down, once again?

well i got news for you. i'm strong now.
stronger than before, i'm finally close to "happy."
no one is gonna take this away from me.
not even you.


so give me your best shot.
i can assure you i will be victorious.

shall i fall into pain & agony once again?

not this time.

forever ain't enough .

lovers & friends .mp3 : listen (:




at first i saw you as a friend.
nothing more.
as days went by, i realized
something about you i absolutely adore.
feelings came in, i can't even explain.
you always managed to make me happy.
like my sunshine in the rain.
could it be your smile?
or your voice, so sweet?
there's just something about you.
that makes me complete.
it started later, as a crush.
then somehow grew into something more.
my feelings grew so fast.
it was impossible to ignore.
i had to tell you, before i explode.
but i had a doubt.
i wasn't sure you felt what i felt everyday.
i thought you were taking a other route.
the day finally came when
i said what i had to say.
i thought i made a mistake,
until you told me you felt the same way.
i couldn't believe it,
when i finally knew.
that there was a connection
between me & you.
i was so happy i
had "sparks flying in the air."
and believe me when i say,
nothing else could compare.
eleven twenty-four two thousand eight, @ ten twenty-one .
the exact time, this all begun.
from that day my feelings grew so strong.
all i knew was
with you was where i belong.
we've had our ups and downs
but always made it through.
no matter where life takes us,
you'll always be my boo.
i can honestly say
i've never felt this way before.
and i'm so happy i can say
that baby i'm yours.
everyday you make me smile
more than i ever could.
and i can't believe i almost
lost you for good.
distance almost tore up apart.
but our love is to strong
nothing can make us depart.
no matter how far we are,
i'll always love you.
and i promise you,
that my love is true.
but i have to confess that
when i'm not with you.
i miss you so much.
i miss seeing your smile,
hearing your laugh,
& feeling your tender touch.
i miss you so much, i cry.
& no matter how hard i try.
i can't stop the tears falling from my eyes.
i hate being so far apart,
but if this is how i'm gonna keep you forever
then i'll deal.
cause when i see you again,
my heart will heal.
to make this short, i just want you to know
that i love you
and that's never gonna change.
my heart is with you.
& forever it remains.




there isn't enough words for me to tell you how much i love you.
1124081021 ♥


kokeonie (5:27:11 PM): so whats your definition of perfect
janellybabiiex3 (5:27:31 PM): you know what you are ?
janellybabiiex3 (5:27:40 PM): that's perfect for me.
kokeonie (5:27:57 PM): well your the perfect girlfriend.
kokeonie (5:28:07 PM): i couldnt ask for anything or anyone else.
------
kokeonie (5:35:14 PM): i love you so much janel. my hearts gonna explode...
janellybabiiex3 (5:35:21 PM): <3
janellybabiiex3 (5:35:25 PM): i love you so much.
kokeonie (5:35:57 PM): i love you janel, i really do.
kokeonie (5:36:06 PM): <3<3<3
janellybabiiex3 (5:36:12 PM): i love you too<3
kokeonie (5:36:37 PM): im telling you right now.
kokeonie (5:36:43 PM): im gonna marry you
kokeonie (5:36:47 PM): <3


♥

i miss them .

since kinder we've been together. some left us on the way, & some were gained. it's been nearly 2 months or so since we were together, & i miss you all so much. we weren't only a class, we were like a family. eveyrday we would have none stop laughing in class, & make memories. it suucks how we werent always "together as one"
in the past, but towards the end we were. whenever our songs play, i can't help but miss you dearly. seasons of love, you'll be in my heart, all my life, etc.

i just wanna see our class together one more time & relive our memories, but i know thats almost impossible. honestly, it still hasnt fully hit me that we're not gonna be togehter anymore. it's hard to let go after being togetheer for 9 years. you guys mean so much to me.

i'd write more, but i know i'm gna cry..

just know that i'll love you guys forever, promise.


"you'll be in my heart from this day on now and forever more ."


<3 always .

find me the right words .

so like things haven't been that great, from my perspective. i don't think you realize it, but i have so much to say. i was almost there, but then you shut me down. again. i know when i said it, it sounded like i didn't love you. but i really do, with all my heart.
i just wanna know if you do. i mean i believe you when you tell me, because i trust you 100%. but it's the way you say it now, it's not the same.


"love you" "ily" .

i mean it might sound like i'm overreacting but i can't help it because this is how i take those little phrases.
the way we talk now, its not the samee. everytime i try to bring it up in a convo, you seem to shut me down. & if i wanna just tell you, it won't even come out & when the right words start coming in, you shut me down.


plus, i hesitate to even say it at all cause something will hit me again . like i just have this feeling .
lately, we haven't been at our best but we're still strong . we're hanging on.
i know you're getting frustrated, but you don't even know my side.

i'm getting so frustrated to the point i wanna explode. i think about it so much, i could cry. i want you to know so bad, i could die.

there's so many more things i wanna tell you, besides this.
it's just the fact i can't say it.
i just wanna know or feel like you mean it when you say "love you" or "ily"
cause i believe you, i really do, it's just i dont know .


& i know i haven't said this for a while, but :


I Love You ♥

can't stop the rain .

thinking about it every night & day .
makes me wanna go to you & say.
i love you, for i dont know why .
it's just there's something about you that i,
can't get enough of you see ?
cuhs in my world it's just you & me .
throughout the bumps on the road we always made it through.
but now it's different, please tell me it's not true .
i have this feeling you wanna let me go .
but if that's the case, i want you to know .
that you're different & one of a kind .
and who knew that someone as unlucky as me was able to find,
someone as perfect as you .
one who's so loyal & true .
i wanna thank you for all that you've done.
for you are the one,
that i love with all my heart .
without you, i'll fall apart .
the fact this is happening, brings me pain .
& all of a sudden, i can't stop the rain ..