lately i dont even know who i am.
i mean it's like i dont know anything anymore.
everything was going by fine, until i finally woke up and noticed the real world.
i finally realized all the troubles i have waiting at my door.

i was so close to complete & true smiles.
i was so close to real happiness.
i was so close to the "one".
i was so close to the perfect day.
i was so close to understanding who i am.
i was so close to having my dream come true.
i was so close to finding answers.
i was so close, but where'd i go wrong?

people tell me that everything happens for a reason.
& i believe that.

and all i want is to know is what my reason is for this.
what did i do to deserve this?
why do i deserve this?
why does this always happen to me?
why ?

im like a magnet.
instead of attracting metals, i attract problems.
as much as i want to avoid them, they always happen to find me.
it's like we were destined.

it's so hard to explain how im feeling.
because there's so many things i have in my mind.
- friends, family, graduation, high school, you (etc,).

i just wanna go away, you know?
i wanna be alone for a while, get everything straight.
but i cant seem to find the opprotunity too.
i can fix this, i know i can. but the question is how?

everyday i have this in thought.
& everyday i only get weaker.
my emotions are slowly killing me.
theyre killing me from the inside out.
what do i do? im dying, i wanna give up.
but whats stopping me?




.. i surrender.